In July 2019, I had the opportunity to spend my birthday learning and sharing with 300 female executives and professionals at The Executive Leadership Council’s (ELC) 2019 Women’s Leadership Forum (WLF) in Atlanta, GA
The conference focused on various issues that impact Black women in the workplace, including making it to the c-suite, participating in public affairs, supporting one another, negotiating compensation, and navigating what can often be complex professional relationships with men, and featured an impressive lineup of panelist and speakers who have forged successful paths in business, politics, and media.
So, why are events like the Women’s Leadership Forum so important?
According to Women in the Workplace 2018, a study of the state of women in Corporate America conducted by Lean In.org and McKinsey and Co., one in five women surveyed indicated that they often find themselves in meetings and other workplace situations where they are the only woman. That number more than doubles for women of color, with forty-five percent surveyed reporting that they are often the only person of their race in work situations. Numbers are even more disappointing at the senior leadership level.
With everyone’s eyes on them, women of color “onlys” can be heavily scrutinized and held to higher standards. As a result, they most often feel pressure to perform, on guard, and left out.
–4th annual Women in the Workplace study
As a Black woman, I’ve gone through much of my career as the only one in the room or one of a few—recognizing early on that the rules of success are somewhat different than they are for my counterparts. Drawing from my personal experience, mentors, and women in the room at the Women’s Leadership Conference, I want to share five strategies for success when navigating being the “only one” in the room.
Embrace being an only
Being the “only one in the room” can feel like something that is a disadvantage, but that’s not necessarily the case. “Sometimes you have to be okay with being the only one,” says activist, educator, and writer Britney Packnett. “You have been recognized for your talents, and a door has opened for you. Embrace it.”
Tackle self-doubt and build confidence
It is estimated that 70% will experience”imposter syndrome“, a psychological condition in which you doubt your accomplishments and fear being exposed as a “fraud,” in their lifetime.
– Sakulku J, Alexander J. The imposter phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science. 2011;6(1):73-92.
Ever experienced that feeling that you’re not as good as other people think you are at work? You’re not alone. When dealing with self-doubt, Morgan Stanley Vice Chairman and Managing Director Carla Harris advises, “if you were invited in the room, you belong in the room.” If you have a seat at the table, place yourself firmly at the table. Make it your responsibility to be an integral part of the conversation.
Dare to be yourself
Often when we are the only one in the room, we feel the need to suppress many of the qualities that make us unique. However, the more we look for ways to bring our true selves into our work, the more opportunities we have to build valuable relationships. “Bring your authentic self to work—it’s your greatest competitive advantage,” urges 30-year Wall Street veteran Harris.
Know your purpose
“You are never too old to revisit your purpose. Knowing your purpose is the number one prerequisite to success.”
–Elynor A. Williams, former ELC Managing Director and only woman founder.
When defining or redefining your purpose, leadership and professional development coach Jovian Zayne says to ask yourself:
- Who do I want to impact?
- What are my values?
- Can others identify my values through my life and work?
- Who will impact me?
Zayne also maintains that impactful work requires a team effort. “I deeply believe that you can’t be your best self by yourself.”
Build a community and share your experience
Being the only doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Ask yourself, “who’s my tribe, personally and professionally?” “How do they impact my purpose?” Seek out individuals who would have gone through similar experiences and could prepare or advise you on the best ways to handle certain situations and thrive in the workplace.
Also look for opportunities to mentor. “Reach out to someone a little bit younger in your organization. If you can, find someone you can spend time with, co-sign, or champion,” says Jewel Burks Solomon co-founder of Partpic and advocate for representation and access in the technology industry.
Attending this event gave me a sense of pride and relief that I am not the only one and should celebrate the distinctive characteristics that make me uniquely qualified to be in “the room.” And for anyone who’s found themselves being an only, I encourage you to recognize your own power, live with purpose, and leverage your strengths to enable you to make a real impact.
How have you navigated being the “only one” in the room or supported an “only” in the workplace? I would love to hear from you in the comment section!